You've Been Lied To
Instagram and Pinterest have made us believe that we can (and should) do it all…but that’s a lie. Not only is it impossible to do it all, you shouldn’t even try!
Years ago I heard a talk from a female CEO who said that we can do just a few things well, and if we try to add any more to that, those things will begin to suffer, and my experience over the years has proven that to be true. The expectations placed on us (from others, and from ourselves) are absurd and ridiculous. When I was growing up in the 80s, my mom fed us sandwiches and koolaid and snack plates, and while we played outside she quilted and cleaned and read. There was no hustle and bustle and running all over town for multiple playdates while setting up Pinterest-worthy crafts in her Instagram-worthy home while making all organic meals and making sure that we had the perfect outfits for each dress up day at school and also working out every day while running a side hustle and being an active volunteer at church and….WHEW. Y’all. Do you see what I mean? Sure, my mom did more than quilt and clean and read, but her expectations of herself (and every other mom) were quite reasonable! We are absolutely inundated with ALL THE THINGS WE MUST DO AND BE AND HAVE and it’s exhausting and impossible!
Please understand that I’m not saying that any of these things are bad things, but that doesn’t mean that they’re the right things for us in the every season of our lives. We cannot allow the idea of this perfect wife/mother/woman overshadow the reality of the women we’re called to be! Recognize the season of life that you’re currently in, and be honest with yourself about it! The beautiful thing about life is that it’s seasonal and cyclical. There may be things that you have to put down right now, but that doesn’t mean you can never pick them up again.
So where do you go from here?
First things first, make a list. Make a list of the things you want to do and the things you need to do and what plates you’ve got spinning - and be very honest with yourself! At the top of this list is going to be your must dos, the things that you prioritize over everything else. And only you get to decide what makes the top of the list! Not your friends or Instagram or your mom…just you!
After your must dos, you’ll have your choose to dos…which are really your I choose not to do this right nows. And my friend, there is SO MUCH FREEDOM in allowing yourself to release the expectations of being able to do it all! It’s freeing to put things on a shelf, knowing that in another season you can pull them down and dust them off!
The next thing you’re going to do is write down WHY you’ve prioritized your list the way you have. Why are these things the most important to you right now? Every time you feel the urge to start “should-ing” yourself - you know, I “should” be able to do more, I “should” be better at this, I “should” be able to volunteer for that - refer back to this. Remind yourself of what you know to be true for you in your current season, and offer yourself the grace you deserve, knowing that you are keeping your priorities in order.
As much as I love aspects of social media, it has a tendency to drive us towards sameness. Having these lists will help you learn to say something very valuable - “good for her, not for me”.